How long has it been since I felt like writing anything in this book? I guess around 2 weeks? I've been pretty recently, as I've been saying in the journal... So busy in fact that I couldn't even write anything in here.

As if that could ever happen. I've been spending a lot of time recently with Lassie, and frankly, I can feel my old self returning -- that person who would protect and care for friends whatever trouble they were in, as long as the guy was free. Well, I do know that I'm not yet in full helping mode, not yet in full friends-first, self-later assistance mode. But I can feel myself going there soon, if I don't stop myself in the process. As I've mentioned before, I'm pretty sure that something would come up before the end of the year (hopefully not, of course), and if I dumbly give my self to others again, I'm pretty sure that I'll be hurt before the end of the year (and start becoming autistic again...)

I've had a good dream last... Wednesday? I think that was it. Lassie was asking me to wake her up that morning at 3AM. The gullible fool that I was, I agreed, on the condition that I'd wake her up IF I woke up. I made plans to wake up at that time, unfortunately, when the alarm rang, and just as I was about to call her up, I fell asleep again. It seems like I can't find my body anymore...

Anyway, before I woke up to the alarm clock, I do recall that I was in a dream with Lassie. I can't remember what we were supposed to do there. All I know was that she and I were an item, or something close to that. I was pretty sure that we were more than close friends, and I do recall that she was willing to kiss me this time (unlike the last time). I do know that we were in some kind of mall that mixed together all the malls that I know. We were strolling around and talking about all sorts of things, and kissing. When I woke up, I could only remember that I dreamed of her, that it was a good dream, and that I wished the dream wouldn't stop. And then I remembered that I haven't called her up as I promised, so I did. Only to find out that she was already awake.

Anyway, I should have written that down days ago. However, I was spending too much time with her, and couldn't pry myself long enough to even go to a computer to write things down. Besides, I still had laboratory deadlines to attend to at that time, I would rather finish those than write things down here.

I do know that I wouldn't want things to turn sour this time around. This should be the third (fourth?) time that I've been close to her. I'm probably being stupid again, I'm probably not learning, but I do know that there's no denying the fact that I feel good whenever I'm with her. I hope I just don't screw up this time. Hopefully, I'll successfully turn my feelings for her, into genuinie friendship.

Hopefully, if I do treat her as a friend, she stays that way forever. Unlike two people I know.

I have this feeling that Dulce is now living with the fact that she'd hate me for as long as she remembers me. And it looks like Pai won't do anything to patch things up in the near future.

Enough of depressing things. My optimistic nature can't handle that too long. It gets boring eventually.

It looks like Jamie has her own blog. I've seen her editing stuff there yesterday, and when she realized that I was standing behind her, she instinctively switched windows and had a surprised look on her face. I still don't know the URL of that blog of course, but I do know the title -- "its not a porn site, unfortunately". I'll probably find a way to know what it is soon... Computers always keep records of that. I do know that the blog is private as it hasn't shown up on search engines this morning. I have this feeling that its her old blog, and she's just revived it. Why she doesn't want me to know about it, well, I guess that says how much she trusts (or distrusts) me.

Martin has a drinking fest scheduled for tomorrow evening, at around 9 PM in Makati (or is it tonight? I can't remember!). I would've wanted to go, unfortunately, I think the Elitists would be there, and I don't think I want to see them soon. I mean, I think they don't mind that I don't mingle with them anymore, I just dislike their presence. It irritates me, especially when Lana starts talking as though he's running things around the place. I know I do that sometimes, but I do know that I'm not doing it to THAT degree. Hopefully...

I'll have to schedule a guidance interview soon. I'll have to get my job availability measured soon, so that I'll know what job I'll be expecting...

You are Beauty.

You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the
outside, or both. People are drawn to you as
strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the
world around you.


What Emotion Are You?
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"Sweet Dreams" (by Eurythmics)
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused


Which 80's Song Fits You?
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